a jumbled mess

hi. my name is...a jumbled mess.

I've been thinking a lot over the past few days,
and I really like the person I am becoming.
Not because I am perfect,
because I am becoming.

be·came, be·come, be·com·ing.
–verb
1. to come, to change, or to grow to be
2. to come into being
3. to be suitable or necessary

what a beautiful word.
A catipillar is only a catipillar until it becomes a butterfly.
A seed only a seed until it becomes a flower.
To be becoming something totally new,
transformed,
unexpected,
beautiful.

I like who I am becoming
because I am fun.
I laugh at my own dorkiness.
I am smart.
I am strong.
I am passionate.

This process of becoming leaves me amazed and completely in awe. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it's fun. Sometimes it feels as if nothing is even happening. But at the end of it, I will be made in the likeness of Christ. And it doesn't get much better than that.

I am trying to brush up on my french...and am so glad that I chose to learn it. I am going to get to use it a lot in my new job, and that means that I will become more fluent. That excites me. I am still semi-liking my new job. Yeah, it's third shift. Yeah, its in admissions. But I get to actually WORK in the ER. I get to get used to the pace, the people, and the protocol. It's almost surreal. I've always had this dream of being a doctor, but I could never imagine myself actually doing it. I have started to see it. Aside from that, hopefully, it will enable me to pay off ALL of my loans within a year. Get back in school. Move on in life.

Africa calls to me....its burns within my soul, quietly stirring, building.
I want to spend time there doing photo journalism and street photography.