~engaged~

guess a total life change qualifies as a good blogging topic? yes?
then lets.

so, as most of you have heard... me and my baby are engaged....
officially... not hypothetically =)

A brief rundown of how it transpired..... for those of you who have yet to hear the story...

Friday the 13th, the day before Valentine's Day, Devon came over... and surprised me with flowers- my favorite flowers (10 brownie points for remembering BTW).
We went to Harris Teeter, or "the teet" as I prefer to call it, at The New Friendly Shopping Center. This HT has a hot bar where you can get wraps, sandwiches, salads, soups, etc... and we got dinner. We took dinner to Bicentennial Garden (one of my favorite parts) and ate picnic style. Then we walked across the street to the Bog Garden (my very favorite park) and walked around a little bit and talked. He asked me where the waterfall was (I LOVE waterfalls), and so we walked over to the other side where the waterfall was. He was standing behind me with his arms wrapped around me, and we were just talking... He suggested we go up the hill to the bridge at the top of the waterfall (a very pretty iron bridge at sunsetish time) as we started to cross the bridge he was still behind me, and asked, "Can I ask you a question?" I laughed because that is how all of our conversations start, and said "I don't know, is it a good one?" as I said this I turned around just in time to see him going down on one knee with a ring box in his hands.

the answer was yes. it was always going to be yes.

We have both agreed, pre-engagement, that we are going to wait until he finishes school. That will be in 2 to 3 years. And I think we are both committed to this timeline. (No one thinks we will be able to last that long, because of the whole sex thing). I would love to marry him sooner, but that is just the emotional part of me, and if you know me you know emotions don't win. Logically it makes much more sense to wait, and it will make the first few years of our marriage (the most difficult years, as most would say) less challenging since we will know each better, we will both be more financially secure, and we won't have the added stress of school + work + marriage. It gives us time to continue getting to know each other, without the pressure of planning a wedding, yet with commitment to one another. I agree the sex thing will likely only become more difficult as time goes on, but you are forgetting I am a VERY stubborn person, I don't want to have sex before marriage, and I made up my mind about that many, many years ago.

I really do love this boy. He is an incredibly perfect match.... I would even go so far as to say he is a God ordained match. We have always just clicked. Fit together. I know I could not have hand selected anyone on earth that would have been better- he is just amazing.
I love being with him. Joking... talking... laughing... it simply doesn't matter what we are doing, if he is there my life is better. I love to hear him laugh. To watch him play. To feel his arms wrapped around me. And I adore the thought of this being forever.

We were talking the other night, about where our strength is... about what makes us think this would last... what we would lean on in tough times. Our first answer, God. The second, Love for one another. And the Third, honest, constant communication. If we keep God as a priority in our lives, love one another passionately, completely, and communicate honestly, I feel that we will be strong enough to overcome any hardship.

And our weakness lies in doubt. Doubting God, and doubting each other.
We both have trust issues, we both have been hurt... if either of us allows the past to overwhelm the present, if we allow what others have done to us to affect our trust and love for each other, we will fail. plain and simple. But I feel, (pause for the easier said than done statement) that if we can do the first part, we will be able to last. forever. God willing.

There is no doubt in my mind that I love this man. With all of my heart. With everything that I am. I am committed to loving him for as long as my heart beats. I know that as we journey on, our love will continue to grow and change, as love always does, and that years down the road it will look much different, but I believe it will only be deeper, stronger, more fully rooted. As time passes I trust we will have our own struggles. Times will be difficult, and we will likely butt heads on many issues, but I respect him for who he is. I don't want him to change, I love him exactly as he is. And I am excited to face the challenges ahead with him. Side by side, hand in hand. There is no one else I would rather spend forever with.