toothpicks and duct tape please

this month has been brutal. challenging. exhausting.
I feel like I am running on fumes, no gas station in sight, with 50 miles to go.
I am not entirely sure how I am going to get to "the end" of this chapter... but I do know for sure, that this chapter will end.

Part one of moving is done... all of our belongings have been successfully removed from our prior residence, the apartment cleaned, and the keys have been turned in. The power is turned off. The mail has been forwarded. All of our belongings have been ever so lovingly shoved and stuffed and stacked in rooms and corners and car trunks. And now we wait.
Wait for the keys to our new home, which should be ready Monday afternoon.
And then we move again. The whole process has been draining. Sleepless days have passed fretting over packing, cleaning, phone calls, and plans. Bills and schedules and all types of non-sense.

The weekend at the beach was much needed. Spending time with Devon's family was great, getting to know them a lot better, hanging out, relaxing a bit. It was a bit stressful at first, for me, since I have never been away with a boy's family before, and I was literally going on no sleep... I still haven't caught up, and I am still exhausted. But by the end of the weekend, the only wish I had was that I would have gotten a bit more quality time with the boy. I love him so much, and I really adore spending time with him.

Tuesday was focused around finishing everything for the move.... such a stressful day.
But it ended wonderfully, with a perfect suprise and some quality time with Devon. I don't think that he will ever understand how much I appreciate all of the things he does for me, how much just having him around helps me and brings me peace.

I have been awake the past few days with some wonderful distractions, Aimee, 6, and Kevin, 3, my niece and nephew, and the family. Playing and laughing, living life together. Its good to be with family sometimes, and I hope by Monday I will not have worn out my welcome =). I also got to see my baby today, held in his arms watching a movie. Every day with him becomes one of my happiest memories, and makes me long for the day that I won't have to say goodbye for weeks at a time. I miss him incredibly when he is gone, it feels like a part of my life is out of balance... like I am driving a car on only 3 wheels... still going but with lots of wobbles.

In store for next week are fourth of july with the fam (if God loves me, dads potato salad will be a part of it), moving part 2, birthday parties, vbs decorations, unpacking and re-organizing, re-establishing routines, surgery, dr appts, and, perhaps, sleep...

for now, the only way to hold my eyes open, is, as you may have guessed,
with toothpicks and duct tape.
and even that isn't working so well.

sleep, my friend, how I long to re-unite with thee...