Marriage

I am a little put off by society sometimes. I am tired of how negatively some people react when they find out I am engaged, as if they feel sorry for me, as if they are trying to console me for my future failed marriage.

When did this come to be? When did society decide that loving someone forever, commiting yourself to someone for the rest of your life, was a bad thing?

I was told this week, not to marry for love.

I should only "marry for convenience," they said, or "to save money" or so that we can "have sex" without guilt because we love Jesus and the bible tells us to wait. But, they claimed, if we "marry because we are in love, our marriage will fail. Because love doesn't last forever."

What an absurd thought.

Marriages fail for many reasons, but to me it seems those reasons have more to do with a lack of love and commitment to each other and for God.

 I know that I am young, and maybe ignorant or optimistic, but normally when I see a couple going through divorce, they don't claim the cause as "we can't stay together because we love each other."

Wouldn't you want to, need to, be in love with the person you choose to spend your life with?

I don't expect marriage to be perfect, I expect it to be a lot like my new workout routine. P90x. Its hard, challenging you everyday with something new that you have never done before, something you haven't done in years, or something you never thought you would need to be able to do or have to do again. Each day you are finished exhausted.

You have to decide each day to keep "pressing play..." even when you are tired and sore and ready to give up. Even when you don't see any results. You shouldn't expect everything to be pretty right away-
pretty comes with practice, and practice comes with time. You have to learn the motions before you can perfect them. You have to set goals, and pace yourself, and fight through the pain.

Decide, commit, succeed. Do your best & forget the rest.

Isn't that what marriage is? Learning, stretching, fighting for eachother? You have to practice, you have to try, even when you are exhausted and giving up seems easier. You have to realize that it won't always be easy, and you won't always have everything down right away.

Love is  not a feeling. Love is a decision. Loving someone is a commitment. Marriage is a commitment.

Is not love the ingredient that makes a marriage work? When you are tired, and frustrated, arguing, and broke.... isn't it love that enables you to make it through? Love that enables you to forgive, to let go, to compromise?

Again, maybe I am naive, young, ignorant, but from what I have learned in my life until now, there are three things that are necessary to make a marriage stand the tests of time:
1. Love one another
2. Commitment to one another
3. Have a strong relationship with God

If you are going into a marriage expecting anything but a lot of work, you may be disappointed. If you go into it knowing you will face battles, ready and willing to stand side by side through it all, no matter what "it" is, and you trust and hope in God, you might be suprised by what you find.

At least, that is how I see it.

I am marrying for love.