Lame

How lame am I?
I'll tell you.
For the past, um, I'd say...three or four days, I have been on the verge of tears. Of literally just breaking down and sobbing. For essentially no reason.
I woke up last night to find I was literally crying in my sleep. WHAT?! I don't cry when I am awake. weird. Maybe it is because of a build up...of trapping everything inside for so long, that if I don't let it out, my subconcious will do it for me. I don't know.
What started this you ask?
Well...I have been feeling this way, since, May 6. But normally I am REALLY good at hiding it, holding it in, or turning it off. It's actually and art form of mine. And I don't really care what people have to say about it, its me. I am not a crier.
Well...and something else played a part in it....this will make you laugh. At least, Alicia, you will truly understand. Gilmore Girls.
As I sat there watching it...for a moment, I felt at home. All the things that have been weighing me down disappeared, faded away...and suddenly I felt surrounded but familiar faces, kind, loving people, people I knew, who knew me. The show, for that brief moment, brought so much hope and peace into my life. (I told you I was lame). And...then....as it ended....I almost felt gutted. Like I had suddenely, once more, lost everything I loved and cared about.