changes

changes are in the works....
I guess I can talk a little about them now... since they have been "formally" announced and all.

I am so excited about Nitro 2.0
and at the very same moment, I am absolutely terrified.

I have been asked to take over the youth group at Seacoast Greensboro. I have loved being a part of this ministry since day one, and Nitro, formerly known as Shockwave, was what brought me here in the first place. The youth leaders at the time, Brett & Carrie, Luke, Ray & Tere, Scott & Michelle, were my first contacts. My first piece of family here in NC, and what made this dreadful place tolerable... compared to Southern California. They were like the shelter from the storm, and accepted who I was from the very beginning.

If it wasn't for student ministry, particularly Youth Group, I would never have stepped through the doors of a church. It changed my life, introduced me to Christ, and challenged me to accept and strive to carry the burden of a love I will never fully understand.

For a long time I have felt the nudging of the spirit, encouraging me to dive headlong into Student Ministry... and I have ignored it. Its scary... Its hard... and we had an amazing program in existence. I've done what I could to be faithful to the students, and participated consistently... but would never have pursued anything more. Our youth pastor rocked. And I am way under qualified for the position anyway...

Brett, our youth pastor, has done an incredible job with the students. There will be some big shoes to fill, and I don't think I ever can. I feel like Joshua must have felt in Moses' shoes, or like the disciples in Jesus'... completely inadequate... but willing to do anything God requires.
that is why my verse for now is from Joshua, "be strong, and of good courage, for I am with you."

I am afraid the kids won't want me.... won't come... won't like it. I'm afraid that I won't be able to give them what they need to learn about God, and grow closer to Him. I am far from perfect, and I hope they can forgive me for my shortcomings...

I will do everything I can to be to those kids what Brett and Carrie, Scott and Michelle, Cory, Tere, Sam, Mario & Sil were for me. A light, a hope, a friendly face at the foot of the cross.

Over the next few months for me there is going to be a lot of fasting, praying, reading, and planning going on... listening to the spirit for wisdom and guidance. I want God to make this ministry something incredible, even if he did choose a ragamuffin like me to lead it.

Guess its time to leap again in faith.... and even if the landing isn't graceful, and even if it hurts, how very worthwhile it is, and how ridiculously beautiful the fall, straight into the hands of God.